Understanding how to navigate the emotional and legal complexities of ending a marriage is difficult under the best of circumstances. However, when one spouse actively delays proceedings, it can add a further layer of stress, frustration, and uncertainty. In England & Wales, divorce law has undergone significant reforms, notably with the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022, which seeks to simplify the process and reduce animosity. Nevertheless, some individuals still engage in behaviour designed to obstruct or stall the legal process, either to gain favourable terms, delay financial outcomes, or maintain control over the other party.
In this article, we explore what options are available when faced with a spouse who appears to be using delaying tactics during divorce proceedings. We will look at legal remedies, practical steps, and emotional considerations, so you are better equipped to press forward with confidence and clarity.
The Legal Framework in England and Wales
Before exploring how to handle delays, it is helpful to understand the overarching legal structure around divorce. Under the new no-fault divorce regime introduced by the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, either or both spouses can file for divorce by simply stating that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. There is no longer any need to attribute blame for the breakdown, which has typically reduced conflict.
Once the application is made, there is a mandatory 20-week ‘reflection’ period before the Conditional Order (previously known as the Decree Nisi) can be issued. After another six weeks, the applicant(s) can apply for the Final Order (formerly Decree Absolute), which legally ends the marriage.
The process is largely administrative and digital, but the involvement of other disputes – such as disagreements over finances or children – can complicate and extend the timeline. Therefore, while the divorce itself might not be complex, deliberate delays can still occur in associated areas, especially if one spouse is uncooperative.
Recognising Common Delay Tactics
If you suspect your spouse is trying to obstruct the process, it is important to recognise the signs early. These may include:
– Failing to acknowledge or respond to divorce applications
– Withholding important financial information or documentation
– Deliberately prolonging settlement negotiations
– Repeatedly cancelling or missing mediation or court appointments
– Making frivolous or unsubstantiated claims to complicate the process
– Applying to adjourn hearings without valid reasons
– Refusing to engage with legal representatives
While some delays may be due to fear, confusion, or a genuine need for time, persistent and strategic delays might suggest manipulative intentions. Understanding this difference will shape your response and guide your next steps.
Maintaining Momentum Through Legal Channels
Fortunately, the law in England & Wales provides several tools to keep proceedings on track if your spouse is being uncooperative. The primary principle governing family law is that delay should not be used to the detriment of the other party, particularly where financial settlements or the welfare of children are concerned.
Applying as a Sole Applicant
The new divorce laws allow either party to start proceedings on their own. If your spouse refuses to engage or delays responding to a joint application, you can proceed as a sole applicant. This gives you a level of control and ensures the process doesn’t stall indefinitely.
If your spouse fails to acknowledge receipt of divorce papers within 14 days, you or your solicitor can request that the court allows the application to proceed based on alternative service methods. For instance, a court officer could serve the papers personally, or the documents could be served via email or social media if postal communication fails.
Seeking Court Intervention for Financial Disputes
Delays are especially common during financial settlements. One spouse may stall the process by refusing to provide full and frank financial disclosure, which is a legal obligation under the Family Procedure Rules 2010. In such cases, you can initiate court proceedings by applying for a Financial Remedy Order.
Once the application is lodged, the court will schedule a series of hearings, including a First Directions Appointment (FDA), a Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing (FDR), and, if necessary, a Final Hearing. The court can also issue Orders for Disclosure, require valuation of assets, and draw negative inferences from non-disclosure, which may lead to less favourable outcomes for the obstructing party.
Applying for a Costs Order
If your spouse’s behaviour leads to unnecessary delays or costs, the court has the power to award a Costs Order. Though rare in family proceedings – where each party typically bears their own legal costs – the court may penalise a spouse who acts in bad faith or in breach of procedural rules.
This financial deterrent can discourage obstructive behaviour. If your solicitor believes this may be relevant, they will gather evidence and invite the court to consider making such an order.
Using Mediation and Alternatives Constructively
Under English and Welsh law, parties are encouraged to consider non-court dispute resolution methods, including mediation. In fact, attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is usually a prerequisite before applying to the court for financial or children matters, unless exemptions apply.
If your spouse is using mediation as a stalling tactic, for example by cancelling appointments or refusing to meaningfully participate, your mediator can issue a form confirming that mediation has broken down (Form FM1). This allows you to proceed to court while showing that you have fulfilled your legal obligations to consider alternatives.
It is important to note that mediation is voluntary, and it only succeeds when both parties engage in good faith. If your spouse is being obstructive, prolonged attempts at mediation may not be worth the expense or emotional strain.
Preserving Emotional Wellbeing During Delay
Legal remedies can only go so far in addressing the frustrations caused by an uncooperative spouse. The emotional impact is often just as significant. It is entirely natural to feel anger, exhaustion, and helplessness when dealing with someone who refuses to engage reasonably.
Building a strong support system – whether through friends, family, support groups, or a therapist – can help you maintain clarity and resilience. Divorce is not just a legal process, it is an emotional journey, and acknowledging the emotional challenges is key to making empowered decisions.
It is also important to lean on your legal advisor for transparent communication. Knowing what is within your control and what is not can help reduce anxiety and prevent overreactions that might play into your spouse’s attempt to gain leverage through delay.
Taking Control Through Information and Planning
When faced with obstruction, proactivity becomes your greatest asset. Document every instance of non-cooperation. Keep a timeline of communication – missed meetings, ignored emails, unreturned documents. This record may become crucial if your case goes before a judge.
Planning also includes understanding your financial position. Even if your spouse is withholding information, gathering your own paperwork – bank statements, mortgage details, pension records – will help your solicitor build a strong case on your behalf. Financial transparency is not just a legal duty, it is a strategic asset.
Managing Child Arrangements Amid Delays
Delay tactics can be even more distressing when children are involved. One spouse may use access to children as leverage, creating conflict or confusion to gain negotiating ground. In such cases, swift action is crucial.
If informal arrangements are not being honoured, you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. This legally binding document sets out the child’s living arrangements and contact with each parent. The family court prioritises the welfare of the child above disputes between adults, and persistent obstruction by one parent may not reflect favourably in final decisions.
Trying to keep communication clear, calm and child-focused can also influence how the court views your behaviour, especially if your spouse’s actions are driven by control or conflict.
Practical Steps to Encourage Cooperation
While some spouses act out of malice or manipulation, others delay out of fear, grief, or denial. Sometimes, a sensitive but firm approach can mitigate resistance. Consider the following strategies:
– Ensure your spouse understands the process and its irreversibility under current law, especially as no-fault divorce offers little room for contest.
– Involve a neutral third party, such as a mediator or legal advisor, to avoid emotional escalation.
– Set clear deadlines and expectations for paperwork, and follow up regularly.
– Explain the consequences of ongoing delay – including potential legal penalties and cost implications – in a factual, respectful tone.
Demonstrating fairness and consistency may encourage a reluctant spouse to disengage from combative strategies and opt for resolution over resistance.
When to Escalate the Issue
If cooperative strategies fail and your spouse remains entrenched in delaying behaviour, it may be time to escalate the matter through formal court intervention. This decision should be supported by your solicitor based on the specifics of your case.
Escalation may involve:
– Making specific applications to the court for interim measures, such as interim maintenance or asset preservation
– Requesting directions hearings to impose deadlines for disclosure or compliance
– Engaging forensic accountants or investigators to uncover missing assets
– Applying to strike out frivolous applications or delay tactics that waste court time
Pursuing aggressive legal remedies is never a first resort, but in some cases, it is necessary to protect your financial or parental rights.
Looking to the Future
A spouse who delays divorce may believe they are holding on to power. But perpetuating uncertainty only prolongs emotional distress for all involved. Every attempt to obstruct resolution ultimately stands in the way of closure, growth, and the opportunity to build a fulfilling life post-divorce.
Although the journey may be longer than anticipated, persistence and good legal advice will ultimately prevail. The modern legal system in England & Wales is designed to prevent obstruction and favour progress that serves the interests of fairness, transparency and – where applicable – the welfare of any children.
By continually making informed decisions, seeking support, and trusting in the legal framework, you can steer your way through even the most frustrating of delays. It takes courage and determination, but with the right guidance, divorce does not have to mean defeat – it can be a meaningful turning point towards a more stable, secure and positive future.